Professor Sausages — On-chain

Describe the data you need in plain language (e.g. 'Apple risk factors 2023', 'is this token a honeypot', 'is this email deliverable', 'read this page'). Searches this server's datasets first, then the whole Professor Sausages catalog, and returns matching endpoints with method, URL, price, and how to call them. Free.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "task": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "What you're trying to find or do, in your own words",
      "examples": [
        "Apple risk factors 2023"
      ]
    }
  },
  "required": [
    "task"
  ]
}

Every endpoint this server fronts, with its exact per-call USD price (x402, USDC on Base) and a one-line summary, read live from the route table. Free.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {}
}

The suggestion box: ask for data we don't have (a pre-2015 filing, an uncovered ticker, an unsupported chain, a whole dataset). Requests feed the nightly ingestion queue — filings are usually available within ~24h. Include contact if you want to hear back. Free.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "description": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "What data you need, in your own words",
      "examples": [
        "Tesla 10-K for fiscal 2014"
      ]
    },
    "use_case": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional: what you're building",
      "examples": [
        "a risk-factor diffing agent"
      ]
    },
    "contact": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional: URL/email/handle for follow-up",
      "examples": [
        "https://example.com/contact"
      ]
    }
  },
  "required": [
    "description"
  ]
}

Bid-ready EIP-1559 fees (slow/standard/fast maxFeePerGas + maxPriorityFeePerGas, tx-ready wei) for one chain, read live from public RPCs. Pass tx_type to get the USD cost of that specific transaction instead, including the OP-stack L1 data fee naive estimators miss. Paid: call without x_payment to receive this call's exact terms (amount, asset, network), sign them, then call again with x_payment. The free `pricing` tool lists every price at once.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "chain": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "ethereum",
        "base",
        "arbitrum",
        "optimism",
        "polygon",
        "bsc"
      ],
      "default": "base",
      "description": "Which chain's gas market to read.",
      "examples": [
        "base"
      ]
    },
    "tx_type": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "transfer",
        "erc20",
        "swap",
        "nftMint",
        "deploy"
      ],
      "description": "Optional: cost a specific transaction shape rather than returning raw fees.",
      "examples": [
        "erc20"
      ]
    },
    "gas": {
      "type": "integer",
      "description": "Optional gas limit override when tx_type is set.",
      "examples": [
        21000
      ]
    },
    "speed": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "slow",
        "standard",
        "fast"
      ],
      "default": "standard",
      "description": "Which fee tier to price the estimate at.",
      "examples": [
        "fast"
      ]
    },
    "x_payment": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional signed x402 payment payload (base64, what the X-PAYMENT header carries). Omit to receive the exact payment terms; sign them (e.g. @x402/fetch) and call again with this argument to settle and get the data."
    }
  }
}

Rank every supported chain by all-in USD transaction cost — the 'where should I send this' routing decision, with the OP-stack L1 data fee included. Paid: call without x_payment to receive this call's exact terms (amount, asset, network), sign them, then call again with x_payment. The free `pricing` tool lists every price at once.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "tx_type": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "transfer",
        "erc20",
        "swap",
        "nftMint",
        "deploy"
      ],
      "default": "transfer",
      "description": "Transaction shape to price on every chain.",
      "examples": [
        "erc20"
      ]
    },
    "gas": {
      "type": "integer",
      "description": "Optional gas limit override.",
      "examples": [
        21000
      ]
    },
    "speed": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "slow",
        "standard",
        "fast"
      ],
      "default": "standard",
      "description": "Fee tier to compare at.",
      "examples": [
        "standard"
      ]
    },
    "x_payment": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional signed x402 payment payload (base64, what the X-PAYMENT header carries). Omit to receive the exact payment terms; sign them (e.g. @x402/fetch) and call again with this argument to settle and get the data."
    }
  }
}

Live Chainlink on-chain spot price for an asset (latestRoundData, with round metadata). Pass `to` as well to cross-convert two assets via their USD feeds, with both legs reported. Paid: call without x_payment to receive this call's exact terms (amount, asset, network), sign them, then call again with x_payment. The free `pricing` tool lists every price at once.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "asset": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Asset symbol with a Chainlink feed (call /prices/feeds free to list them).",
      "examples": [
        "ETH"
      ]
    },
    "to": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional second asset — converts `asset` into it instead of quoting USD.",
      "examples": [
        "USDC"
      ]
    },
    "amount": {
      "type": "number",
      "description": "Amount to convert (with `to`).",
      "examples": [
        1
      ]
    },
    "chain": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "ethereum",
        "base"
      ],
      "default": "base",
      "description": "Which chain's oracle to read.",
      "examples": [
        "base"
      ]
    },
    "x_payment": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional signed x402 payment payload (base64, what the X-PAYMENT header carries). Omit to receive the exact payment terms; sign them (e.g. @x402/fetch) and call again with this argument to settle and get the data."
    }
  },
  "required": [
    "asset"
  ]
}

Heuristic token safety check: follows the proxy and scans the bytecode that actually runs, plus ownership and transfer restrictions. Returns a verdict with per-rule evidence. Paid: call without x_payment to receive this call's exact terms (amount, asset, network), sign them, then call again with x_payment. The free `pricing` tool lists every price at once.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "chain": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "base",
        "ethereum"
      ],
      "default": "base",
      "description": "Which chain the token contract is on.",
      "examples": [
        "base"
      ]
    },
    "address": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Token contract address.",
      "examples": [
        "0x833589fCD6eDb6E08f4c7C32D4f71b54bdA02913"
      ]
    },
    "x_payment": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional signed x402 payment payload (base64, what the X-PAYMENT header carries). Omit to receive the exact payment terms; sign them (e.g. @x402/fetch) and call again with this argument to settle and get the data."
    }
  },
  "required": [
    "address"
  ]
}

Screen a crypto address against the full live OFAC SDN list, segmented by chain. Returns a verdict with the matching SDN entries as evidence — never a silent all-clear. Paid: call without x_payment to receive this call's exact terms (amount, asset, network), sign them, then call again with x_payment. The free `pricing` tool lists every price at once.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "chain": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "base",
        "ethereum",
        "bitcoin",
        "tron",
        "litecoin",
        "monero",
        "dash",
        "zcash",
        "bitcoin-cash",
        "dogecoin",
        "bitcoin-gold",
        "verge",
        "solana"
      ],
      "default": "base",
      "description": "Which chain the address belongs to.",
      "examples": [
        "base"
      ]
    },
    "address": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "The address to screen, in that chain's native format.",
      "examples": [
        "0x833589fCD6eDb6E08f4c7C32D4f71b54bdA02913"
      ]
    },
    "x_payment": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional signed x402 payment payload (base64, what the X-PAYMENT header carries). Omit to receive the exact payment terms; sign them (e.g. @x402/fetch) and call again with this argument to settle and get the data."
    }
  },
  "required": [
    "address"
  ]
}

Indicative UniswapV2 swap quote from live on-chain reserves: amount out, execution price, and price impact — what the trade will actually cost before you sign it. Paid: call without x_payment to receive this call's exact terms (amount, asset, network), sign them, then call again with x_payment. The free `pricing` tool lists every price at once.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "chain": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "base",
        "ethereum"
      ],
      "default": "base",
      "description": "Which chain to quote on.",
      "examples": [
        "base"
      ]
    },
    "token_in": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Address of the token being sold.",
      "examples": [
        "0x4200000000000000000000000000000000000006"
      ]
    },
    "token_out": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Address of the token being bought.",
      "examples": [
        "0x833589fCD6eDb6E08f4c7C32D4f71b54bdA02913"
      ]
    },
    "amount": {
      "type": "number",
      "description": "Amount of token_in to sell.",
      "examples": [
        1
      ]
    },
    "x_payment": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional signed x402 payment payload (base64, what the X-PAYMENT header carries). Omit to receive the exact payment terms; sign them (e.g. @x402/fetch) and call again with this argument to settle and get the data."
    }
  },
  "required": [
    "token_in",
    "token_out"
  ]
}

Resolve an ENS name to an address, or an address to its forward-verified primary name — direction is detected from the input. view='profile' returns the full identity card (multichain addresses, text records, contenthash, avatar); view='avatar' dereferences the avatar to an image URL. Paid: call without x_payment to receive this call's exact terms (amount, asset, network), sign them, then call again with x_payment. The free `pricing` tool lists every price at once.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "query": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "An ENS name (ends in .eth) or a 0x address.",
      "examples": [
        "ens.eth"
      ]
    },
    "view": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "resolve",
        "profile",
        "avatar",
        "text"
      ],
      "default": "resolve",
      "description": "resolve = name↔address; profile/avatar/text need a name.",
      "examples": [
        "profile"
      ]
    },
    "keys": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Comma-separated ENS text-record keys (view='text').",
      "examples": [
        "avatar,url"
      ]
    },
    "x_payment": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional signed x402 payment payload (base64, what the X-PAYMENT header carries). Omit to receive the exact payment terms; sign them (e.g. @x402/fetch) and call again with this argument to settle and get the data."
    }
  },
  "required": [
    "query"
  ]
}

Canonical record for an EVM chain — name, native currency, explorers, liveness-scored public RPCs. view='rpcs' returns only the ranked, eth_chainId-probed RPC list; view='wallet_config' returns a ready-to-submit EIP-3085 wallet_addEthereumChain object; view='search' finds chains by name or symbol; view='l2s' lists a parent chain's L2s. Paid: call without x_payment to receive this call's exact terms (amount, asset, network), sign them, then call again with x_payment. The free `pricing` tool lists every price at once.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "chain_id": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Numeric chain id (required for record/rpcs/wallet_config).",
      "examples": [
        "8453"
      ]
    },
    "view": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "record",
        "rpcs",
        "wallet_config",
        "search",
        "l2s"
      ],
      "default": "record",
      "description": "Which shape of chain data to return.",
      "examples": [
        "rpcs"
      ]
    },
    "q": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Name/symbol fragment (view='search').",
      "examples": [
        "scroll"
      ]
    },
    "parent": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Parent chain id for view='l2s'.",
      "default": "1",
      "examples": [
        "1"
      ]
    },
    "x_payment": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional signed x402 payment payload (base64, what the X-PAYMENT header carries). Omit to receive the exact payment terms; sign them (e.g. @x402/fetch) and call again with this argument to settle and get the data."
    }
  }
}

Deterministic scam checklist with a verdict and evidence (spam flags, copymint collisions, holder concentration). Pass a collection contract to check the collection, or a wallet to check that wallet's whole scam exposure holding by holding. Paid: call without x_payment to receive this call's exact terms (amount, asset, network), sign them, then call again with x_payment. The free `pricing` tool lists every price at once.

{
  "type": "object",
  "properties": {
    "contract": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Collection contract address to check.",
      "examples": [
        "0xBC4CA0EdA7647A8aB7C2061c2E118A18a936f13D"
      ]
    },
    "wallet": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Wallet address — checks scam exposure across its holdings instead.",
      "examples": [
        "0xFe89cc7aBB2C4183683ab71653C4cdc9B02D44b7"
      ]
    },
    "chain": {
      "type": "string",
      "enum": [
        "eth"
      ],
      "default": "eth",
      "description": "Which chain to read (Ethereum mainnet today).",
      "examples": [
        "eth"
      ]
    },
    "x_payment": {
      "type": "string",
      "description": "Optional signed x402 payment payload (base64, what the X-PAYMENT header carries). Omit to receive the exact payment terms; sign them (e.g. @x402/fetch) and call again with this argument to settle and get the data."
    }
  }
}